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Today, Danny and I received copies of our wedding video. My uncle taped it and then had it transferred to DVD. It’s good. It’s also really funny.

First of all, it’s weird to see yourself on film, much less watch yourself get married. It’s also funny watching other people walk into view and then instantly freeze and smile when they see the camera.

We have the ceremony, the reception, the cake-cutting, and the rehearsal on film. The most interesting part occurs when someone sets the camera on the table without turning it off. We then get 30 minutes of random conversation and constant crotch and butt shots as people walk up to the table to chat, eat, or pick something up. After a while, you learn to instantly identify crotches and associate them with their owner’s voice. It is amusing but it gets old fast. I don’t know why it was included in the DVD, but someday, maybe I’ll look back and sigh at how much smaller my butt was on my wedding day.

I ran across these a few weeks ago. Miles and Nick explain why a kitty’s life is so hard.

When I went home this weekend, I saw my brother Daniel. We met for a late night snack at Austin Java Company on Sunday night. While sitting outside on the patio, he told me about his latest trip with his band.

His band, which will not be named, at least for now, played a show in Ft. Worth on Saturday night. During the show, the lead singer (not Daniel) got more and more wasted. By the end of the night, the rest of the band convinced him that it was time to go back to the hotel and chill instead of heading over to some party. While the party might have been fun, keeping tabs on the singer would not.

Back at the hotel, the guys hung out, watched TV, and shared a bottle of nice vodka. The lead singer continued to drink. As everyone was going to bed, Daniel went to brush his teeth and take out his contacts. It was then that he remembered that he’d forgotten to pack a contact case. He grabbed one of the glasses from the bathroom counter and put some contact solution in it. He then floated his contacts in the solution. To keep someone from throwing them out, Daniel hid this glass in the corner of the bathroom shelf, along with his overnight kit.

The next morning, Daniel found the glass on the counter, empty. This is how I imagine the rest of the scene played out.

Approximately 10am, Sunday morning….

Daniel: Hey, does anyone know who drank out of this glass? I had it in the CORNER of the SHELF.

Lead singer: Awww man, I was SOOO thirsty last night…

Daniel: Uhhh, what?

Lead singer: I was so thirsty I drank it man.

Daniel: Dude! You drank my contacts!

Everyone laughs in disbelief…

Lead singer: Oh, I’m SO sorry dude. I didn’t see what it was I just drank it.

Daniel: That’s nasty. You mean you didn’t taste the saline solution or anything? It’s okay, but I just can’t believe you drank my contacts.

I have a new obsession: free stuff on craigslist. I blame Danny for this. Since we picked up at least $30 worth of gently used moving boxes on Monday, we’ve been scanning the listings looking for more treasure. It also gives us an idea of what’s being offered in case we want to get rid of some things on the fly.

Everyday, when we get home from work, I pull up the strangest, most interesting, and most bizarre stuff I found under the Free category. I look in the SFBay list, but I’m also checking out Austin and Seattle. Austin has, by far, the best weird free stuff. I knew my hometown was a winner.

Best of Austin (for the past week):

taxidermied turkey in full-flight (three feet long)
trampoline frame with all of the springs
broken space heater
xbox remote (was for xbox that was stolen)
free dead tree
Big Ol’ Satellite Dish & Steel Pole
bag of mens shoes
food

Bay area:
Dreamcast controller - broken
1990 Toyota truck owners manual
2 BROTHER RATS
FREE MANURE
Free Vegetable Oil, 140 gallons, Low FFA SVO
ATM
about 40 old phonebooks
9 tennis balls (with pic)

Seattle:

2 free rodent cats
Old Sit N Spin
worm bin

most creative spelling:

humpster roller
hot tube

Today is Danny’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!!!

We went to On the Border for dinner tonight and we are still stuffed to the gills with pseudo-TexMex. Hey, at least they have queso. It was good but now we are painfully full and neither one of us wants to deal with work for the rest of the week.

Since Danny buys gadgets and new toys often, I had a hard time thinking of something cool to buy for him. I took him out to lunch and to a movie this weekend, but I wanted to give him something to unwrap on his birthday. I got him these:

The Labyrinth. No, not this one.

THIS one.

This. Is. Hard. I saw it and knew Danny had to have it, at least so I could play with it. Selfless: that’s me. One of my Jr. High teachers had one and I spent hours trying to get that damn BB around the track.

We played it for a while and determined that no human without super skillz could get the ball all the way to the end. Okay, so we gave up after five minutes, but it’s impossible!

I also got Danny a rubik’s cube. He is low on desk toys (he has none) and he needs to raise his level of “desk play” to that of his coworkers.

I also bought him a mini rubik’s cube because the regular one is impossible! Do you see a pattern here? We’ve both played with the mini-cube and have determined that it is just as cantakerous as its big brother. If it is doable, we feel even stupider-er.

Finally, here’s a game we can’t lose: Rubik’s snake. You make shapes. Bam, you’re done. However, many of the “shapes” are questionable. If you can guess what this is, I’ll give you a cookie.

It was out there. I knew it was out there, but did I dare search for it? This weekend I did. Fanfic: Veronica Mars fanfic to be precise.

I am not a professional writer of fiction, and I do not pretend to be one. However, after reading some of the Veronica stories posted, I thank GOD that professionals are doing the actual writing for the show. Admittedly, most of the bad stories are simply platforms for the the graphic sex scenes. This doesn’t disgust me or bother me. I kind of knew what I was getting into. Some of the stories (sans sex scenes), are actually very sweet if not a bit retarded.

Despite whatever intentions the writers had, the plots are usually boring/ridiculous and the dialogue is hilarious. Of course I read this stuff! It’s gold baby!

…back to my sad little UPN drama-world….

Since I’m going to hell anyway, here is a tidbit from the Futurama encyclopedia:

Jesus
In the 31st century, the word “Jesus” has become a standard exclamation of amazement, usually used by old people. Examples include, “Holy Zombie Jesus!” and “Sweet Zombie Jesus!” Due to the Zombie content, it is fair to assume that Jesus was not at his physical prime during his second coming.

Happy Easter!

Throughout my life, I’ve been happy, even grateful at times, to have a simple, boring name. There are drawbacks though. Tonight, at midnight (of course!), I received this in my email.

Ummmm…okay? If you know me, I can appreciate this as a good joke. This is not from someone I know. It is for some other Sarah. I really don’t think it’s spam either. It’s just….weird. I mean, what?

For more weirdness, check out bible ball. Of course! Combine the most boring sport with the most boring subject matter ever! I essentially failed Sunday school, so no, bible ball does not appeal to me.

This is what happens when Daniel gets bored. I guess it runs in the family.

Tonight, I got the look: the “oh shit, I hope she didn’t see me” look. I don’t think I’ve witnessed such a blatant example of “the look” before, but it was really funny.

I was walking into the grocery store. I was about ten feet from the door as four people exited one at a time. I was just kind of staring straight ahead trying to remember everything on my list when I spotted a girl from my statistics class last fall.

Even though we weren’t buddies, we did work on a group project together and I believe she is a genuinely nice person. However, I was usually kind of a mess by the time I got to class. I had no energy and might have even exuded an air of complete exhaustion or piss-offedness. Either way, she and I worked together, but we didn’t joke around much or meet for coffee after class.

So anyway, I was walking in and we both spied each other at the same time. In the instant I decided that I would say hi, I saw her veer to the right and keep her eyes on the ground. A smile crept onto my face. Am I that scary? Does she feel guilty about something? Did she have a bad day and is just not in the mood for chitchat? Whatever it was, she wanted out of there fast.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done that look many times myself. I don’t mean to be a jerk but sometimes I just don’t feel like shooting the breeze outside of the women’s restroom at work or on my way to buy cough syrup at the drug store.

I just found it funny. Maybe I’ll send her an email; something along the lines of “hey, was that you at the store last night? I was going to say hi, but all I could see was the back of your head as you sprinted to the parking lot. Oh well. Meet for coffee?”