ode to the old apartment: episode 2
since I’m on a roll, I may as well continue with this train of thought.
Oh, how I will not miss thee…
I will not miss thee, barefooted lady who steps in front of my car. How dare I block your path to the dumpster as you talk on your phone and walk barefooted across the wet parking lot to put your garbage bag in the dumpster. It is as if I had intruded on your private moment as you stepped lightly across your parque living room to the kitchen to dispose of little Billy’s dirty diapers. Oh how I will not miss you.
I will not miss you gangbangers who gather in the parking lot at 2pm on Tuesday afternoon. How dare I cross your home with my horrible vehicle. It is as if I was put on this earth to make your lives a living hell. Why must you move so I can squeeze into the one remaining parking place that does not already house a broken oldsmobile?
I will not miss you trashy mom as you scream obscenities at your children. I am impressed that you are watching your children and are glad that they are no longer jumping on the dumpster lid, but I will not miss you or your colorful language.
I will not miss you maintenance man. I hardly knew ye since you were one of many to come and go in my five months here. However, I do appreciate the screens that maintenance guy #1 found for us. However, I will not miss you since my faucet and drain still do not work.
I will not miss you parking lot. You were either strewn with trash, filled with screaming children, or flooded from trash clogging your drains. I will not miss your stinking, slimy filth.
I will not miss you horrible children. I would probably be just as horrible if I was completely unsupervised all of the time. However, I will not miss you running in front of my car, running behind my car, screaming at all hours of the day, climbing on my car, climbing on and in the dumpster, and kicking another car (thankfully not mine). I will not miss you horrible horrible children and families. And I will not even leave you one cardboard box to remove from the dumpster and play in like you did when I moved in.
Friday 29 Dec 2006 | sarah | General